Darling
by It's Luna Darling
Summary: He was always there. Always. But not always in good way./"It'll never be love, darling, only this."


_**Disclaimer; I own nothing but the plot.**_

Lily Luna Potter believed a lot of things, but love was not one of them. Well, that was a lie, she believed love existed for other people. She knew that love existed for herself as well, but she would never admit it, because admitting it would be admitting she was in love with the blue haired boy. And that would be admitting defeat. So she continued telling everyone that love didn't exist for her, and as much as they tried to convince her it was, they eventually gave up.

Nobody ever worked to hard on the stubborn Slytherin girl.

Except for the boy who shouldn't have been working hard on her, and it wasn't even in a very decent way. If you caught her drift.

She kind of wished he wasn't so handsome or rough/tender. She also wished that he wasn't leaving a burning trail of kisses down her collarbone to her chest. He would be arrested if anyone ever found out about this. She was only fifteen for goodness sake, and he was twenty-three. It was so wrongwrongwrong but it felt rightrightright as he slid her knickers down her leans legs. As he positioned himself inbetween her legs and thrusted roughly. Then she was screaming and he was groaning.

Thank God he had placed that silence charm on her room. Thank fucking God.

He left while she slept, so it must have been about three AM before he joined Victoire in the guest bedroom, making the excuse that she could always here him say because they were right fucking next to her. "You were asleep when I went to bed, I just got up for a glass of water, love."

Then she'd sob herself to sleep because dammit he never called her love. Just darling. But that meant nothing because that's what you call your lover when you don't really fucking love them. But then again, she had to feel a smidge special because he never called anyone else darling in her hearing range.

Sometimes she tried to hate Victoire. But Victoire was Victoire and Victoire was impossible to hate because she was so fucking perfect with her blonde her and blue eyes. Then it'd occur to Lily that that's the reason that Teddy loved her and she'd just cry some more. Then she'd pull herself together an told herself that love only existed for others and wouldn't cry until the next time he came around.

x

Christmas time was always hard. The Potter or the Weasley household(and there were a lot of Weasley households)were always packed to the fucking max. Plus Teddy Lupin was always there and that made it harder for Lily, because she'd spend the night(until bedtime because that was when he joined her)thinking about that if anyone ever found out he would go it prison(possibly Azkaban)because he was twenty-three to her fifteen.

Teddy always came to her before he went to Victoire, which should make her feel special(and it did, just a smidge, just like being called darling did)but really it only made her feel guilty. Or he'd be waiting for her, just like he'd done since she was- No, stop. She needed a drink.

Nobody noticed her snatch the Vodka from behind her Uncle Ron(probably because the whole lot of them were drunk)or her sneaking up the stairs with it. All except that fucking blue haired boy-_man_-who noticed fucking everuthing. He followed her up the stairs without her notice(but she should've, as alert as she had been). He shut the door, which she had forgotten, and made her jump.

She really wished he would _go the fuck away.  
_But she didn't ever get what she wished for, despite being a fucking witch.

So she allowed him to remove her dress and position himself between her legs. She allowed him to thrust as roughly as wanted and leave lovebites down her side.

Because she liked it.  
No matter how wrong it was.

Because she loved him.  
No matter how much she denied it.

x

She was sitting in ally way smoking a fag with a bunch of high school drop outs, because her sixth year had just ended and she didn't want to go home. To _him, _to _her, _to their pending marrige and baby on the way. To his sweeping glances, to his rough touch. To his fucking. Nor to his "Lily Darling"s. She really wished she could hate him sometimes, but even though he was easier to hate than his _fiancee, _it was still impossible.

And if this twat next to her didn't remove his hand from her leg she was going to knock him off the wall.

She wondered if anybody on the Potter household was worried about her. Probably not, everyone was over there again, because all the students had just arrived home from Hogwarts and they were throwing a celebration. But Lily hadn't wanted to attend so she settled for getting high with a bunch of muggles. Which was very fucking sad.

x

She arrived home at four AM. Because she knew that everyone would be asleep, they usually settled down about two-thirty, watched tv until three, and passed out about three thirty.  
So she wasn't expecting the blue haired boy to be sitting on her bed, his arms crossed and his eyes red in desire.

"Go away, Teddy."

He didn't listen. So she once again allowed him to strip her of her clothing and position himself between her legs. She dug her finger nails into his back and moaned his name multipul times. He just grunted and groaned and muttered hers everyone and a while. Then he came, pulling himself out of her as she watched him clean himself up, get dressed & leave.

She wanted to ask him to stay, but that would be admitting she loved him.  
And that would be admitting defeat.

x

Lily had always loved rainy days. Always, when she was three she told the sun to go fuck it's self and then told her mother she'd heard the language off some muggle show that James had been watching. She'd learnd that it was harder to get out of the house on rainy days as she got older and gradually wished for more sunny ones.

Because Teddy visited every day and there was always time to go to her bedroom and lock the door.

She didn't know why she tried so hard to avoid, because she loved it in every fucking way. That made her a bad person, she knew. But why did no ever see the way Teddy looks at, the way he sometimes touches her? In her mind it was always so obvious, so easy to see. But nobody ever fucking did and she just wondered why.

Her thin frame was frozen between the love seat and the door as her mother repeated her question of where she was going and her statement that Teddy was coming to visit. He was also taking her, James and Albus to the theatre and that didn't make her feel very happy.

So she sat on the couch and just didn't answer as she read some muggle book.

They didn'y push, and they kind of wished they would because then maybe she'd confess to what her and the blue haired boy had been doing. She laughed to herself because she knew that that would never, ever happen. Like, ever.

x

The theatre was nice, and they were seeing some muggle movie. The theatre was also dark and her leg was pressed up against Teddy's, and his hand was on her thigh. It was up high enough to make everything in _that area_ to feel tingly. The two boys were too oblivious to notice much of anything because their fucking idiots.

x

He was in her again, on her bed. Their moans were filling up the room and she was getting more lovebites.

He left with a simple "It'll never be love, Lily darling, only this."

She sobbed herself to sleep and finally admitted she was on love with the blue haired boy.

She finally admitted defeat.


End file.
